Dear Ms. Shiro:
Today, I was perusing the internet whilst watching the L Word. I was wondering if dating was that simple in the lgbt community other than all the countries and cities I have lived in. My experience in London, San Francisco, WeHo, nor New York was not remotely like the storyline. Granted it’s fiction, but much like your story here, I could relate to being the “ugly duckling.” I too got all the taunts, teasing, bullying, intimidation and isolation as many others. I thought it was adolescence.
I don’t really know anyone who skated through life. We all have a story. What touched me in your story is the idea that if you looked like Karina Lombard. In my world, everyone looks like that. We are all becoming ethnically ambiguous, watch a few makeup tutorials on YouTube. Everyone wants, a narrow nose, high cheekbones, fair skin and the amount of cosmetic surgeries many in that community have increased exponentially.
I understand your idea that we should see beyond skin colour and appearance is pure hypocrisy. I defy you to find any woman who respond to a black woman’s personal ad, sight unseen. If you look like Halle Berry, your odds are higher, but not much. What’s more, if one does express interest, it’s purely based on looks. Current technology bases the majority of it’s marketing on appearance. Thumbnails? If it’s attractive, people will click on the video if only out of curiosity. Avatars, Instagram, everything is based on appearance and although we say we “should” be looking beyond it, we don’t. I don’t blame anyone. There are some black women who won’t date me, and that’s fine. Why add more complications to a relationship?
What sells magazines? Why are we spending so much in the health and beauty industry? We all are meant to be thin and beautiful.
The one thing you may not experience is 90% of the time I don’t have more than three people in a room who look like me. How often are you the only white woman in a classroom, on the transit system, at an event, or watching television? What about cereal boxes?
I have learned to live in the white world, all the jokes *no offence…*, all the stares, asking about my hair, or comparing their tan to my skin, “I’m almost as dark as you!” My world is concerned about you and your ancestors. There are those who want me to go to Africa, and I’m and English girl in the U.S.
While I understand and appreciate your article. I’m so tired of the gay, lesbian, etc. community not realising it’s own bl**dy hypocrisy. Let’s switch shoes for one day?